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Episode 1977 (20 July 2000)
Synopsis Ian arrives in a very expensive new convertible, and tells Steve it's not every day that you get £10,000 for doing nothing. Steve says all he needs now is a tasty blonde next to him. Ian says he's happy as he is thanks, and Steve says he swapped his wife for £10,000 and he's happy?! Ian parks it and the alarm keeps going off. He shows it off to Laura, who says it's OK if you like that sort of thing and how did he afford it. Ian says HP - £35,000, but only £10,000 deposit. He phones up and moans a lot to the garage about the alarm not working. In the café everyone jokes about Ian thinking he's James Bond, and Laura defends him. Mark says he's a nasty bit of work - she's only known Ian 5 minutes, and he's known Ian all his life. Lisa asks around who said something about her, and Mark says Terry was asking for her yesterday. There is some debate as to whether Terry would grass her up. She goes to her office, and starts work. Her boss arrives and asks her what she's doing here, she doesn't work here any more, and he's packed her stuff. Mel is upset because she feels responsible, and Jeff says it doesn't sound like Terry, and she put Ian in his place earlier and he thinks it sounds just like Ian's style. Lisa goes home and blames Phil for losing her job. He says it's just a poxy job, and Lisa says she loved it and won't get another now she's been sacked, and since losing the baby it's the only thing she is good at. Phil says he'll get the grass and make him tell Johnson the truth, and Lisa says so he'll just push Terry around instead. Phil says "Ah so it was Terry!" Mel goes to see Ian and asks him if he told Lisa's boss that she was skiving off shopping, and he denies it but she says she knows he's lying. She insists and Ian says she's an interfering little cow and she took sides against him, so now she pays. Mel tells Ian he's mean, and he's cheating everyone all the time. Ian says it's old news, he has nothing to do with her any more. Mel says she had the worst, most unsatisfying time of her life in this house, and she only put up with it because she thought he was sweet, and he hasn't the faintest idea what to do with a woman. Ian says he supposes Steve is satisfying her now, and asks why he came round here begging for a divorce, and to make sure she asks him why he signed the papers, and smirks knowingly. Jeff asks Mel and she says it's true it was Ian. Jeff suggests they tell Phil, and Mel says no, he doesn't deserve to be beaten to a pulp. When Laura comes back Ian gives her a £50 bonus and asks her to celebrate with him, gives her a few glasses of spumante, and then tells her she's pretty when she smiles. Then he jumps on her. She tells him to get off her, and he gets annoyed. He says he thought she liked him, and she says she just doesn't want to be jumped in the middle of the afternoon - "You can't just grab someone, I'm not a piece of meat." She adds that he just offered her a £50 bonus and then tried it on - how does that look? Laura adds that she found all the numbers programmed in to the mobile - she knows he gave it to Mel. She says she saw Mel leave here earlier and knows that the wine was for Mel really, and she's a gorgeous blonde. Ian says it wasn't, it was for them, but he says miserably he knows, he messed it up again, and starts to leave. Laura says no, she likes him, in every way, and takes his hand and says they could go upstairs. Sonia has chucked Neal because he "tried it on". Jamie goes to see Sonia with a red rose, and then loses his bottle and chucks it away and tries to give her £5 that he "found" in the market. She says it's not hers. Phil asks Jamie what the washing machines are doing in his garage, and they're nicked, aren't they? He adds he doesn't care if they are or they aren't but he wants them out. Steve hands Mel a wedding dress outfitter address and says they have his credit card details, she can choose what she wants and put it on the bill. She refuses, saying it's a joke that's gone too far. Phil threatens Terry in the pub, and Terry says he has no idea what he's talking about. Jeff interrupts when Phil is about to take Terry outside, and Jeff tells Phil it was Ian who grassed on Lisa. Mel goes to see Steve and ask how he got Ian to sign the papers, and Ian said something dodgy happened. Steve says if Ian signs it, he owes him and Ian has a favour to call in whenever he needs it. Steve says Ian's just jealous. Mel says Steve is really starting to remind her of Ian - sorting it all out etc, and Steve says he's not playing games with her, he loves her. Mel asks if there is anything he's not telling her, and Steve says no, who is she going to believe, him or Ian? She leaves, saying she'll let him know. Phil goes to see Ian, who is just getting undressed awkwardly in the bedroom with Laura, and he answers the door thinking it's the people about the car. Phil comes in and attacks him, saying he's gone too far, and Lisa got the sack. Then Laura comes downstairs and Phil laughs, saying so he's in bed with the nanny - and turns to Laura asking if it's charity or does he pay you? He adds "He used to go for lookers now he's scraping the barrel." and "Tell her what a nice person you are - how you lied about your kid." Ian refuses and Phil says Ian will need a wheelchair to get in that flash new motor. Ian says Phil will go to prison for it and Phil replies that actually broken bones will heal, but he will get Ian where it hurts - his business, and he will ruin Ian, then he leaves. Laura comes back to ask if he's OK and Ian shuts the door in her face and sits on the floor in tears. Credits Main cast *Adam Woodyatt as Ian *Hannah Waterman as Laura *Steve McFadden as Phil *Martin Kemp as Steve *Tamzin Outhwaite as Melanie *Barbara Windsor as Peggy *Mike Reid as Frank *Lucy Benjamin as Lisa *Todd Carty as Mark *Shaun Williamson as Barry *Dean Gaffney as Robbie *Jack Ryder as Jamie *Leslie Schofield as Jeff *Wendy Richard as Pauline *June Brown as Dot *John Bardon as Jim *Gavin Richards as Terry *Natalie Cassidy as Sonia *Charlie Brooks as Janine *Michael Bertenshaw as Johnson *Joseph Shade as Peter *Casey Anne Rothery as Lucy Category:Episode Category:2000 Episodes